In my last post I shared a quote that described Christmas as a magnifying glass over our feelings. If things are going well it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but what if you’re grieving a loss? The pressure to feel the joy of the season can be an even greater challenge. 🔍🔍🔍🌲
Remember there is no timeline for grief and whether the loss is recent or years ago, the sadness can be just the same.
Remember too…these are suggestions not instructions.
Firstly, allow for grief and manage expectations
• Give yourself permission: It’s okay to not be happy all the time and to skip traditions or celebrations that feel overwhelming.
• Don’t try to replicate the past: Accept that this Christmas will be different and don’t feel guilty for not feeling the “holiday spirit”.
• Be patient: Grief has no schedule, so take time for yourself to feel whatever you are feeling without judgment.
• Talk about your feelings: Share your emotions with trusted friends or family to avoid feeling isolated
Remember and honour your loved one
• Do something to honour their memory: Light a candle, set a place at the table, or make a special toast.
• Share memories: Go around the table and share favourite memories, or create a memory box. (Take care, this may not be comfortable for everyone at the table).
• Continue a cherished tradition: If a tradition feels right, continue it. This can be a way to feel connected to them.
• Make a new tradition: Start a new, simple tradition, like planting a tree or donating to a charity in their name.
Practice self-care
• Maintain a routine: Keep up with simple daily routines like meals and sleep to create a sense of normality.
• Do something good for others: Volunteering can provide a sense of purpose and boost your mood.
• Limit alcohol: Avoid overindulging to numb feelings, it can lead to negative consequences.
• Take breaks: Step away from intense holiday activities when you need to, and don’t feel guilty for seeking time alone.
Seek support if needed
• Lean on your support system: Talk to people who understand and can offer emotional support.
• Consider professional help: A therapist can provide strategies for coping with grief. If you need to speak to someone urgently Samaritans are there 24/7. Call 116 123